so, i kinda took the weekend of from anything, really. caring, eating, moving, etc. LOL. i did do some thinking and got through some rough patches emotionally, and today, i'm back on track. it seems like i'm constantly re-evaluating, thinking, and figuring out how to make this work. and i figure as long as i'm truly TRYING to figure out this magic combination that my metabolism has set, then i haven't failed yet. i'm a work in progress, and i'm learning to not only like me a little in the process, but to actually enjoy the process, too. it's not easy and i have more days than not that i really hate where i'm at physically, mentally, and emotionally, but i figure if i balance it with enough positivity and hard work that i'll get there, right?
one of the conclusions i've come to is that in order to be happy, i NEED to work out. not only do i need the endorphine rush that comes from moving my butt, but i also NEED the freedom to splurge one day a week.
if i'm going to have a few cocktails, eat a few carbs, have a dessert, and really truly not count on free days, then i have got to build some muscle mass to keep the furnace going. and i only need to take one day off from planned exercise, too. not saturday AND sunday. i figure sunday will be my less structured workout day, but it will still be active. and who knows? saturday may be, too, but it doesn't HAVE to be.
i enjoy running the most... outside. i really want to train for races like 5 and 10ks and the obstacle course type things, but i've been using the weather as an excuse not to work out. and i've whined to myself that i hate doing videos and i never stick to them, blah blah blah. but i'm going to do dvds on days that i cannot get outside. and i'll do them anywhere between 10 am and 1pm so that it's OVER with. i have my grubby little paws on a copy of insanity, but honestly... it scares the bejesus out of me. it's hard as ducks! haha. and it's hard on the knees. but i have a feeling that that program over insanity would make me push myself a little more. it's just body weight exercises versus PULL-UPS! omg, i can't heave 215lbs up over a bar with my weak girly arms!
i want to be able to, though. i do i do. :)
i'm babbling. i'm glad y'all know me and love me. this is my mini brain storm session.
so here's the magic formula i've figured out that works for me when i'm not exercising -- no more than 100 grams of carbs and at least 100 grams of protein per day. i figure i'll allow myself an extra 30 carbs a day on days BEFORE longer cardio days (like a jog day or a kickass insanity day (um... all insanity days are kickass....). i'm also going to cut the creamer out of my morning coffee and just go with regular old half and half. i'll let myself have one BIG sweetened mug of joe in the evenings as i start my work shift.
one more BIG change for me? i'm honestly honestly honestly only going to look at my WEIGHT once a week. FOR REALS! it doesn't mean that i won't weigh in on the Wii Fit, but i'll only look at the BMI number, not the weight number. i truly am making myself insane with the daily weighing and seeing the lowest numbers and then seeing it go up the next day. and then weekend bloat and days after PMS or not enough water or all the other little variables. i would have been somewhat satisfied with last week's loss of a pound (okay, not REALLY, but kinda), but i was more unhappy with it than i needed to be because i had seen a number two pounds lower than that just two days before. and if i'm going to be honest with you guys (i always am), it gave me a defeated attitude which fueled the "i don't give a damn" attitude i had this weekend.
