I'm working really hard on finding that mental state of not hating my body, or striving for perfection. I just really want to treat my body well so that it will allow me to do the things that make me happy inside.
I've been a yo-yo dieter all of my adult life. I lose some; I gain some. Welcome to America, right? To motherhoood? Whatever it is, I'm pretty sure I'm over it. I'm the heaviest I've ever been, I look like my mom more and more every day, and I'm really trying not to care so much about what I see through my distorted mind's eye.
That doesn't mean that I want to gorge myself on fast food and mass-produced crap in a sack. It just means that I need to focus on DOING, not seeing. I need to focus on goals and rewards that have less to do with dress size and more to do with how I feel.
I love running. I really do. I love the alone time, the challenge of seeing how far my body can take me, the glance at nature around me, the good feeling I get from knowing my dog is well exercised, and the time to jam out to whatever music floats my boat at the time. I love the thrill of a large road race, and setting goals and reaching new personal bests. I LOVE new running shoes. :) I love sunshine and fresh air and... and I just love running.
I also love dancing. And I love the mountains, and hiking, and singing, and swimming, and laughing, and feeling strong.
I love time with my husband and with my kids... and sometimes even other people's kids. I love being active and traveling and experiencing new things. I like exploring.
There are so many ACTIVE things I like, and if I work my body out in ways that I like in preperation for things that I like doing, then I shouldn't worry so much about what the shell looks like, right? But after moving around that much and eating well, I should shrink into a size that more adequately reflects my active lifestyle.
At least that's the approach I'm trying THIS TIME....
mental state of mind
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